Hello,
This is Raunak Jain, 1/2th engineer so far. Please don't feel sorry for me, coz when you will read this letter, I would be dead and your sorry wouldn't help my soul. By the way, let me make it clear, no one forced me into this. I, finally figured this on my own. I will be sorry that I had no one to stop me from doing this.
I know this letter would won't matter a lot and would be thrown in the drains where my life had always been for 20 years.
I am Raunak Jain and this is the end of my story. If you are interested in the reason behind my death, then please stop reading because I have nothing worth saying ahead.
Did you noticed the yellow light over the traffic signal? Might be you have missed it most of the time. The only light you might have encountered were red or green. My life have always been that yellow light, not the red which no one likes and try to avoids neither the green one which bring smile and hope on those sweat dipped frustrated faces. But yellow, mostly missed during the journey of life.
I was never a good, entertaining speaker. So friends were something I was always deprived of. I grew up with that big school bag, twice my weight and scratching my name over the last bench. I use to stare silently at my name and exchanged my boring little life.
I never remember laughing. They say, you need to have feelings. No one taught me feelings; no one gave me hope, so grievances never visited me. Honestly, I preferred being alone.
I am Raunak Jain and I never had the day of my life.
She is happy with new friends. Once she said she will always be with me. I guess she forgot. But neglecting past is difficult in my case.
Those 1 year with her was when life ignored being pathetic with me.
She loved my silly questions when I don't understand a situation. I knew the questions were miserable. But she always had pity in her eyes for me when I asked while scratching my head.
I was happy. But, she didn't stammered the day she said that she wants to be single. She always loved someone else and pity can never win over love. So I was a LOSER once again.
I am Raunak Jain and I have always seen her even in the darkness of my life.
I tried a lot, really, a lot! I tried to love. I had 21 online friends on my gO.Ogle talk whose real name I don’t know and 34 whom I have never met. But they are cool, they find me interesting, they gave damn to whatever I say, even my brain f**kin PJs. For immediate solution to my problems, some also passed on link of varied porn sites. It’s funny how sometime a porn site is solution to all your problems.
I am Raunak Jain and I kill my hope everyday.
Let me tell you, assassinating hope is not as cruel as you think. In this fast moving world, hope dies every single day and slowly this feeling gripped onto my nerves.
I tried to spend 20 years of my life with Raunak Jain, and trust me, I am sick of him.
I am bored of the fact that on my birthday only email I get is from Viagra representative offering 70% discount for a year.
Surely, I hate people committing suicide. Even you hate such people, I guess. Idiots do that, correct? But suddenly, one morning you realize that you have screwed up entire life and people always termed you 'FLOP IDEA', what will you do?
For now, I don't regret my life; I am just the unlucky piece of paper who never got through the lucky draw. Life ,now, is much more annoying, than soothing.
I am Raunak Jain and this time I say Sayonara.
PS.: My apologies and best wishes to my best friend who lost all believe on me. I am a loser, again. Hope time would heal.
M sorry, but I would be off from blogging for few months. Catch ya soon. :)
<----- This is just a fiction, RAUNAK JAIN never existed. Just thought to write such note ----->
